10 Wilderness Survival Tips We Learned From Watching Katy Perry’s ‘Roar’ Video

Watch Katy Perry's "Roar" video!

It’s Katy Perry, filmed in Junglescope!

Although Katy Perry‘s show-closing VMA performance of “Roar” totally set us up to expect a “Rocky”-inspired look and feel to the lead Prism single’s video, last week’s teaser clip — not to mention that old Hollywood-style movie poster mock-up — presented a drastically different “Jane of the Jungle” kinda angle to it. And now that she’s released the video, we see that Katy’s gone full-on queen of the jungle in the clip for “Roar.”

And, duh, we’re so into it. If anything, Katy has proven that she can werq the EFF out of a theme. “California Gurls”‘ wipped-cream fembot Candyland fantasy? “Wide Awake”‘s nightmarish hedge maze fairy tale? The intergalactic contact-making in “E.T.”? Ring, ring! Psssssst! Hey, Katy Perry, it’s for you!

Watch Katy Perry's "Roar" video!

YOU’RE WONDERFUL. Thankfully, “Roar” does not disappoint, as Katy Perry not only serves up some top-shelf, Jane of the Jungle realness, but clues us in to some must-know wilderness survival tips!

Watch Katy Perry’s “Roar” video after the jump.

1.) DON’T RELY ON DOUCHEBAGS: Not to get all Liz Lemon on ya, but if your man’s more obsessed with taking selfies than rescuing you — that’s a dealbreakah, ladies!

Watch Katy Perry's "Roar" video!

2.) IF YOU SEE A TIGER, RUN: Feel free not to share this tip with said d-bag.

Watch Katy Perry's "Roar" video!

3.) IF COVERED IN SPIDERS, DON’T RUN: Just be a ham! Spiders hate broad comedy.

Watch Katy Perry's "Roar" video!

4.) ELEPHANTS MAKE TERRIBLE SHOWER BUDDIES: C’mon, man! BE COOL.

Watch Katy Perry's "Roar" video!

5.) HYGIENE: Don’t forget to brush! (yourself and others)

Watch Katy Perry's "Roar" video!

6.) DON’T GET TOO ATTACHED TO YOUR ANIMAL FRIENDS: You never know when you might need a cute, new leopard-skin top.

Watch Katy Perry's "Roar" video!

7.) SAME GOES FOR SHOES: Sorry, babies, mama needs a new spear. I wiiiiill remember yoooooou…

Watch Katy Perry's "Roar" video!

8.) USE YOUR WORDS: JK, use your super haute new D.I.Y. spear. Eat tiger sliders. Be happy.

Watch Katy Perry's "Roar" video!

9.) ADDRESS YOUR QUEENDOM: Once you’ve conquered the island’s creatures, declare your sovereignty in a manner befitting of a Queen like Katy. We recommend a royal march-style rendition of Destiny’s Child‘s “Survivor,” but whatever.

Watch Katy Perry's "Roar" video!

10.) IF YOU START YELLING AT SOMEONE NAMED “JACOB”: Congratulations, you’ve officially reached the point of no return! Welcome to the island, crazy.

Watch Katy Perry's "Roar" video!

+ Watch Katy Perry’s “Roar” video.

Photo credit: EMI/ GIF: catchingperry

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