1. Eevee’s Take Down

When Pokemon attack, everybody better watch out! And the most stunning showcase for their power (and cuteness) may be Super Smash Brothers for Wii U. Here, Mr. Game & Watch may not have any eyes, but that’s still better than the creepy, dead-inside stare of this head-butting, egg-hatched mammalian.

2. Genesect’s Techno Blast

“Hnnnnnnng. Awawawawawa.” Those were the last words ever heard from Yoshi before his insides were torn to shreds by a vicious Genesect vivisection.

3. Gogoat’s Take Down

The prophet Robin spake, and she said unto them, “Verily I shall read from my tome, while riding on the back of a bleating goat, and I shall rain merciless destruction upon them.” Or something like that.

4. Chespin’s Seed Bomb

Nope, nope, nope. You’d have to be nuts to take on this spiny nut grass starter. Even Ganon holsters his sword after taking a ferocious fire-bath.

5. Goldeen’s Splash

It’s just flopping there. Is it still flopping? I can hear it flopping. Just tell me when it’s done flopping please.

6. Darkrai’s Dark Void

The casual Wii Fit Trainer has no clue the dream inhabiter’s about to send them both to a world of unending nightmares.

7. Arceus’s Gravity

Arceus created the entire Pokémon universe. He also created this launch boost that’s helping Sonic land one right in Shulk’s Monado. Yikes!

8. Deoxys’s Hyper Beam

Samus took one look at the psychic Deoxys and she was all, “I can’t even,” and back flipped outta there faster than Ozzie Smith.

9. Greninja’s Secret Ninja Attack

The deadly Greninja silently stalks in the shadows of the full moon, while its Lacanian duality balances the forces of water and darkness. Plus, it wears a scarf made out of tongue.

10. Inkay’s Topsy-Turvy

Ewwww. It’s so slimy. What body part is in the center of its face? Its nose? Its mouth? Something worse? You can’t even tell if it’s upside down. Bowser’s too grossed out to pick a fight.

11. Meloetta’s Echoed Voice

Just like Katy Perry on Super Bowl Sunday, Meloetta shoots waves of shrill noise across the stadium that are nearly impossible to avoid.

12. Fletchling’s Peck

After all those years of savagely hunting down birds, the Duck Hunt dog finally gets his comeuppance. Now he knows how Tippi Hedren felt getting bombarded in Bodega Bay.

13. Palkia’s Spacial Rend

This dreadful dragon can tear through space itself, turning your television screen upside down. Mess with him and he’ll flip ya. He’ll flip ya for real.

14. Spewpa’s Stun Spore

The typically fierce Shadow Link cowers in the sumptuous silver fleece of Donkey Kong’s chest hair. With good reason. Spewpa’s toxic scatter dust clouds induce instant paralysis.

15. Zoroark’s Fury Swipes

Even Cranky Kong isn’t this mean. The crimson tinted fox creates hallucinatory delusions when it isn’t busy ripping you to tatters. It’s super effective!

16. Togepi’s Powder Snow

Dr. Mario’s stifled scream shall remain frozen for eternity, joining General Zod in banishment to the Phantom Zone. This fairy baby encased in eggshell’s just that cold.

17. Xerneas’s Geomancy

If Princess Mononoke’s deer-god mated with a horrifying, many-tentacle beast, it would give us night terrors. But we’d still rather hang out with that abomination than Xerneas.