On the fifth anniversary of Nier: Automata's release, Gabe Gurwin reflects on optimism and overcoming depression.

Content warning: In addition to major spoilers for Nier: Automata, this piece deals heavily with mental illness and mentions suicide.

In 2017, my life was, at least on paper, going fairly well. I had graduated college the previous May, I had steady work in my career field, and I had a supportive family and partner who wanted to see me succeed. But the thing about depression is its complete irrationality. It wasn't sadness, but nothingness, that pervaded my day-to-day existence. Nothing seemed to matter, from maintaining relationships to enjoying my hobbies. It was strange, then, that Nier: Automata--a game which turns five today and consists largely of battles against alien robots and exploring a post-apocalyptic Earth--managed to help give me hope for the future.