Nicki Minaj gets wet and wild in her new 'Starships' video.

Let's just call a spade a spade here, people: Nicki Minaj's "Starships" video makes absolutely no sense. If starships are really meant to fly (according to Wikipedia, they are, and through space!), then why did Nicki choose to have a tribal body paint party on the beach for her video? Who knows, but it really doesn't matter. The important thing here is that we'll all be on egg white and protein shake diets for the next three months trying to replicate Nicki's absolutely bananas figure. WHAT EVEN, I CAN'T.

Watch Nicki Minaj's "Starships" video after the jump.

Directed by Anthony Mandler (Rihanna, Drake), "Starships" is super pretty to look at. There's the hyper-pigmented greenery along the beach, the vivid DayGlo body paint everyone at the orgy beach party ends up wearing, and not to mention Nicki's pink bikini, which is like, painted on. But as far as a plot goes, eh, let's save that for next time, Nicki.

"Starships" is all about having fun in the sun, splashing around in the ocean in slow motion with your dancer friends and hiring a personal trainer. "Hands up and touch the sky," indeed. (With a dumbbell in each one from now on.)

+ Watch Nicki Minaj's "Starships" video. (Language NSFW.)