So charge your phone and start doing wrist stretches or whatever because you've got some serious voting to do. This in-sane. This is huh-YOOJ. THIS IS HAPPENING.
If One Direction's live, flesh-and-blood appearance at the 2013 VMAs and their shot at the Best Song Of The Summer VMA weren't enough, we're here to remind you that their perfectly coiffed babeliness got us ultra amped for their upcoming VMA appearance. Mmmmmm perfectly coiffed 1D babeliness...
Well, HELLO.
Sorry, where were we? Oh yeah, right, back to why we're really super jazzed that these guys are joining the Kaws-redesigned Moonman statue, show-openerLady Gaga, Katy Perry, Miley Cyrus, Robin Thicke (heyoo!) and mainstage performerKanye West at the 2013 Video Music Awards! We're so pumped because the British boy band is fun -- plain and simple. Like, for such good-looking guys -- seriously, these guys are like actually Precious Moments figurines brought to life by ancient magickes moste adorabylle -- all five of 'em have such good senses of humor! Remember all the shenanigans they got into last year? OBVIOUSLY. We're pretty sure it's, like, a felony not to commit every single 1D act to memory. Regardless! Let's celebrate this most jooooyous of news with a look back at how much more awesome the 2012 Video Music Awards were thanks to this special li'l fivesome. (Perfect, and while the readers are distracted doing that, I'll have that Zayn hairspray gif all to myself! My precioussss...)
Remember how fun One Direction was at the 2012 Video Music Awards? Take a look back after the jump.
How can we NOT kick this off by mentioning how perfectly executed One Direction's acceptance speech for the night's Best New Artist moonman statue was! Speakers for the group Zayn and Harry were grateful without crossing into pathetic territory, and Harry even slipped in a difficult to decipher message that only his one true fan to rule them all would understand: "We love you so much!" FYI, that fan is me, and that was a direct proclamation of affection straight from the beautiful, silk-maned horse's mouth to my ears. HOW SWEET OF HIM, always throwing in those li'l secret codes. I HEAR THEM ALL, HARRY, I hear them all.
And the #winning continued when the category for Best Pop Video came around! Niall, Liam, and Louis did the talking this time, and they totally struck that same perfect "I'm humbled but I'm still, like, your masculine ideal!" balance as their two cohorts did in the previous video.
Harry even snuck in another hidden missive for me! See when he kisses Katy Perry?
Just a peck, Katy! Just a peck.
At first, I was, like, SUPER offended HOW DARE SHE. And how dare HE? I saw my Styles-oriented world crumble before my eyes. BUT THEN! I remembered that when Harry tugs on his suit jacket with arms akimbo like so, it's his way of saying, "I'm pretending this is you, beb. Pip-pip! Crumpets." Yes, we do have a very complicated secret language, and yes I am extremely well-versed in colloquial British vernacular.
Thank god this ain't for real, 'cause Kiall/Naty is NOT a cute power couple name.
As for the "Roar" singer's smooch with Niall Horan? Nah, they're just mackin' it -- no secret language there. It's cool, though! Niall and I? We have an... understanding. #SoEuro #DealWithIt, Puritan America. Also? Deal with THIS:
NURSE! This Louis Tomlinson Seduction 101 promo teaser for last year's VMAs is OOC. Like, normally if we were staring at someone without breaking eye contact for a minute, we would be called a creeper and promptly run outta town. (We're also envisioning, like, thrown tomatoes and pitchforks??) BUT HERE, we get to indulge in all of our less than polite society-ish 1D desires and stare at his glorious punim tantalizingly come closer and closer for as long as we want. If that's not enough (IT'S NEVER ENOUGH), check out the rest of the boys' solo promo vids at the bottom of the post.
And what about that performance! You did NOT think we were gonna gush over how our five future husbands (after we move to that part of Utah where "Big Love is set, natch) totally stole the show last year without highlighting their fun and face-punchingly CUTE live rendition of "One Thing," did you?!?! As much as we love listening to 1D's recordings (see our iTunes song play count), there's nothing like hearing them live. The deep steadying timbre of Liam's voice at the beginning of the number? UNF, we die. Just like -- our insides essentially turn into this Martha Wash video:
Okay, that's all we can handle. We've definitely met our One Direction-centric cuteness overload quota for the day. But then again... HAVE WE?!?!?!
NOPE!
That's right! Just in case you forgot, we turned Louis, Zayn, Harry, Niall, and Liam into purrfect li'l kitty cats last year. Hey, maybe we'll use our excellent Photoshop skillz to turn them into baby three-toed sloths! Or, no, ONE DIRECTION SLOW LORISES! The possibilities are almost as endless as the guys are flawless. Can't WAIT to see said flawlessness in action live at Brooklyn's Barclays Center on Aug. 25 when One Direction hands out a Moonman at the VMAs! GAH.
