Fugly secret panel stretchy pants for Kim? No way!

What? Did you think pregnant Kim Kardashian was gonna roll out in a polka-dot caftan or a tent-like oversize tee with a baby elephant on it and a cutesy saying like "baby on board" or "eating for two" or something from Pea In A Pod or whatever, right? No way. Our Kimmeleh, who's approximately somewhere in the early stages of her second tri, stepped out in Miami this weekend wearing a skintight blue dress (that somehow reminds me of ice skating and that I hope Kanye picked out for her!!) with some kind of... cutaway boob window complete with a spiked, bejeweled cleavage reinforcing shelf the likes of which are probably very OK in certain parts of Miami. Because a world in which Kim Kardashian wears modest maternity wear is not a world I want any part of. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a Baby Kimye countdown Blinkie and a Pinterest board of potential engagement rings for Kim that I really must finish up.

Photo credit: Pacific Coast News