I just flew in from Austin, and BOY are my arms tired. Sorry -- you'll have to excuse the cheesy old-man joke. I literally did just get back from Austin, (fun fact: Zoe Kravitz was on my flight -- I resisted the inappropriate urge to ask her to be my friend and stylist), where I spent all day at the Woodies Musical Festival and 2012 mtvU Woodie Awards, so I'm still under the influence of non-stop live music and tacos. And if I hadn't exclusive backstage access to the Woodies, I might've thought those celebrity sightings were a mirage-like result of the punishing sun searing my retinas with sunspots in the form of celebrities. But no, really, the Woodies were swarming with celebrities, posses, publicists and barbecue. (Nope, that's not a cookout you're smelling; I'm actually just sweating Salt Lick out of my pores.) So, in case you couldn't make it to the Woodies or watched the show but and missed some crucial moments, I'm here to share the best moments from the 2012 mtvU Woodie Awards and the biggest -- because everything's bigger in Texas.

+ BEST OFF-LABEL USE OF A FLOTATION DEVICE: Steve Aoki's crowd-surfing raft.

+ BIGGEST WOODIE: Mac Miller! I say that because he won Woodie Of The Year, which is one of the biggest Woodies. MAN, what did you THINK I meant?

+ BEST TAN: Woodies co-host DJ Pauly D, naturally.

+ BIGGEST BODYGUARD: Pauly D's. Holy s***, man.

+ BIGGEST SURPRISE CAMEO BY A CRUNK ARTIST WITH A MOUTHFUL OF DIAMONDS: Lil Jon, who came out to add some "YEAAAAAAAAH"s to Steve Aoki's epic performance of "Turbulence."

+ BIGGEST BREAKTHROUGH/ MOST LIFE-AFFIRMINGLY JOYFUL PHOTO: Machine Gun Kelly beat out 21 other acts to win Breakthrough Woodie. But you could probably tell that from this photo of him kissing his Woodie.

+ BIGGEST ART-SCHOOL MOMENT: Santigold's performance! It was a total New Wave meditation on post-post-modernist neo-expressionist lyrical abstract expressionism. I think. Anyway, it was cool.

Get more of the biggest and best 2012 mtvU Woodie Award moments after the jump!

+ BEST HAIR, PERFORMER: Santigold. WHOSE hair stays that good in Texas? I mean, really.

+ BEST HAIR, NOMINEE: Skrillex. Shout to all my lost boys who lost the Best Performing Woodie Award.

+ BIGGEST BACKSTAGE CREW: Tie: Steve Aoki and Mac Miller. Those dudes roll deep.

+ BIGGEST CELEBRITY I SAW DOING TRIANGLE POSE BACKSTAGE: Steve Aoki. Seriously. Gotta stay limber.

+ BIGGEST 'AWWW' MOMENT: Best Coast's Bethany Cosentino, who won Best Video Woodie for her "Our Deal (Extended Version)" hugging DJ Pauly D.

+ BEST PHOTO OF STEVE AOKI, A-TRAK AND LIL JON AT THE WOODIES: Steve Aoki and Lil Jon's facial expressions pretty much sum up my feelings for the 2012 mtvU Woodies. See you next year!

Credit, all photos: Getty Images